Sins of the Daughter - Part 2 - The days

Day 7 - 6/21/11


   I'm going home today, but fortunately, will get to see my mother one last time before I have to be at the airport.  It almost feels surreal that by tomorrow, I'll be back to my own life, my own world, thousands of miles away, but I know I will be taking a part of her with me and will hold on to it, never to be lost again.
   I've been dreading this day, this moment, when I'll have to say good-bye to my mother, very likely for the last time ever.  I walked into Mom's room and she greeted me by name again, with a smile and a peaceful look on her face.  Her room was filled with morning sun, the New York City skyline glistening through her window and there was a lightness in the room I hadn't noticed before.
   For the last time this trip, I took off my shoes and laid down next to my mother, looked into her eyes and smiled at her.  " It was so great getting to see you again, " I told her.  She smiled back and for the first time this week, she reached up to me.  " Yes, " she told me, " It was wonderful. "  She asked me if I was coming back and I told her I would.
   Our good-bye was quick; I love you, I'll miss you, basic salutations, mindfully avoiding the obvious and keeping the emotions in check, seemingly for her benefit, but mostly for mine.  We stared into each others eyes one last time, and looking at her with all the love and respect I had inside of me, with my hand over my heart where she could see it, I said the one thing that needed most to be said.  " Thank you, Mom.  For everything.  "   She moved her hand close to her own heart.  " You're welcome. "
   I am sad, but more than anything else, I feel blessed.  I have experienced something this past week I have never felt before, something deep, profound and foreign to me.  When I looked into my mother's eyes and she looked back at mine, I felt something divine, a long lost connection not only with my own mother, but also with myself.  Every time I had I looked into my mother's eyes and really saw her, I felt the presence of God, completely and wholeheartedly.  I couldn't have hoped for more.