Sins of the Daughter - Part 2 - The days

Day 4 - 6/18/11


   It just hit me that our days together are numbered.  I am going back back home in 3 days and I almost can't bear the thought of leaving her.  This has been the first and only time I've ever felt a connection to my mother and I feel as if I have to condense 55 years of emotions and communication into these few short days.  I know she sees me, feels me, knows how my love for her has transcended all else, but still, there is so much I need for her to hear.
   Another rough night for her; agitated, delusional, yelling.  I was prepared for the worst, but again, when I came in her room and laid down next to her and looked into her eyes, she smiled and greeting me by name.  " Hi Mom,"  I said to her smiling.  " How do you feel today? "  Still looking into my eyes, she asked, " Now? "  I responded,  " Yes, right now. "  She answered, " Safe now. "
   There's something about the way she stares into my eyes, a searching, trying to hold on to something, anything that makes her strange new world familiar.  Still looking back at her, I told her that this, here, now, was what I've been waiting for my whole life, to see into each other's souls and know it was all worthwhile.  I told her I see her, I know her, that I'm so proud of all that she's done, all that she is.  I noticed a tear running down her face and wiped it with a tissue.  "  You o.k. Mom? "  I asked her.  " Proud " she responded.
   I asked her if there was anything I could do for her.  She answered,  " Yes.  Take me home. I'm done here."